Here’s the first part of :
WHY PEOPLE DRIVE YOU CRAZY: PART ONE – A FRESH LOOK AT TEMPERAMENT
written by ME
(It’s due out in the next few weeks. So exciting!!)
Temperament is part of our personality. When we combine the effects of the in-utero environment during pregnancy and the birth experience on our genes we arrive with temperament.
Genes + In-Utero Environment + Birth Experience = Temperament
The behaviours our bodies are compelled to display during times of stress (not trauma or life-threatening danger) are due to our temperament, and are most obvious in babies and small children. Over the course of our life-time temperament can be modified, but not changed. Modifications to our temperament are reflected in our personality.
Nature versus Nurture
How Nurture modifies or enhances Nature
No temperament is better or worse than another: they are merely different. For a simple analogy we can think of the temperaments as different sets of building blocks. Every box might contain blocks of varying sizes or shapes, but all can be made into solid and weather-tight houses – if they are properly constructed. Likewise temperament: regardless of our temperament we can grow up to be self-assured and calm, to manage risk and to be self-motivated, we can behave maturely – or not, depending on our experiences and our ability to process and understand those experiences.
Sometimes, people drive us crazy because their temperaments are different from our own. It is common to attribute certain behaviours to flaws in character, which are actually normal and uncontrollable biological reactions based in temperament.
Sometimes we see behaviours in another, which reflect our own internal state or temperament. If we learned these behaviours were unacceptable or undesirable then, too, we may find the other person irritating.