One of the key aims of Craig’s and my parenting is that our children feel, understand and deeply know they can come to us any time, any how, any way for help. And we will be helpful.
We aim that they will come to us after times when they have felt uncomfortable. That they will come to us when they are unsure about what to do next. And especially, that they come to us when they’ve done something wrong, and they need emotional support to face their consequences.
So, when they have been asleep at night and wake up to come and find us…I say “Hello darling.” I get up from my seat and I walk/carry them straight back to bed. On the way I say, “That’s the right thing to do – to come and find us when you’re worried/scared/upset/lost/unsure/dazed…” what ever fits, depending on which child and how old they are.
We don’t praise them or give them stickers for staying in bed all night. Alone.
We don’t punish them because they can’t manage to stay all night in bed. Alone.
One day these kids are going to be teenagers.
We don’t expect they will be able to handle everything. Alone.
We do expect them to come to us for help. Any time of the day or night.
It starts now.
(This is officially how I help put food on the table. If you’ve found this article useful, please feel free to use the Koha button just above my blogroll. Even the smallest amount is appreciated. 🙂 )