Just a thought that came to me as I was attending yet another vomiting child in the night…Mindful Disconnection isn’t going to work unless the child knows your disconnecting. It may seem obvious, but maybe not.
Example: Toddlers in playgrounds. Often not keen to leave. Often fully engaged with whatever it is they are doing, or motivated by what they see and think they might like to do next, just as you really have to go.
Unless they are fully connected to you at that moment of leaving, chances are Mindful Disconnection isn’t going to work.
A little trick we have used successfully to ensure that connection is there first is: you chase me and I chase you. I suggest you practise at home first. It’s pretty self-explanatory: you play a game of chasing them while they run away (saying, Mummy’s/Daddy’s chasing you) and catch them. Then you say, X chase Mummy/Daddy, and pretend to run away with tiny steps until they catch you.
End of the playground time. You play this game. They are fully connected to you because you have chased them first and want to keep giggling (it feels great). They chase you and whatdaya know, you end up at the edge of the playground or the car or whatever. It’s Mindful Disconnection because you turn your body-language away from them. If you’re really sure of their connection and they aren’t far behind you, you could try not watching to see if they are following. (This is for those up to post-grad studies in Mindful Disconnection. 🙂 )
Works well because the connection is there in the first place. I use this strategy a lot when Mr Butterfly (21 months of age) is convinced he needs to be at kindergarten with Mr Owl.
PS Apologies to people who have blogs which I usually read, we’ve had an attack of the tummy-bug and I won’t be fully on deck until the weekend at the earliest. Missing what’s going on at ‘your place’ but ya know…
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