The book I am reading at the moment has got me inspired and excited. It’s called Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller, PhD and Aline LaPierre PsyD. If you’re interested in working on your demons it’s definitely a recommended read.
For the next few posts I’m going to look at the book and make some suggestions as to how we, as parents, can prevent (or make less severe) the major issues this book raises for our children. As I’ve been through this horrid winter of discontent where I’ve faced and worked through many of my own shadows, I will also mention some of the things the book suggests we can do for ourselves.
As a taster:
The writers suggest it is both our experience of physical connection with our own bodily sensations and the emotional connections we have with others, which make us feel truly alive. When we have an impaired connection in either of these areas, due to (unaddressed or poorly addressed) trauma or developmental events, we have a diminished experience of living. Sadly, many of us are unaware of what our internal roadblocks are – although we probably suspect something is holding us back from having the lives we desire.
One of the things I really like about this book, and the approach suggested, is that it acknowledges our past but it doesn’t focus on it. Rather, it looks at how the strategies we developed in our childhood to cope with a less than ideal environment (according to human biology) have been retained even though they no longer serve our best interests as adults. Alongside our past and these retained strategies, it also acknowledges the life-force (elan vital, chi, prana, reiki, essence) as real surges of energy which we often label as emotions or feelings. These can be useful, or not, depending on how we have learned to process them. It talks about this (unprocessed) energy becoming locked in our bodies as physically tight muscles or illnesses.
The really great thing, though, is that it celebrates our strengths, capacities, resources and resiliency and focusses on supporting our increasing capacity for connection to our bodies and to others. It is empowering and practical.
Looking forward to some great discussions!